Book Review: Secrets about Life Every Woman Should Know by Barbara De Angelis
‘I heard a loud sound like an explosion and my car began to careen wildly out of control. One of my tyres had blown…I just froze and thought ‘this is how I am going to die’, then the strangest thing happened…’
Yes, I hear you loud and clear! Why, Mr Stevens, are you reading a neo-New-Age self-help book for women?
The answer is simple; I borrowed it from a friend who thought I might find it interesting and who made the point that although its primary audience is women, many of the principles also apply to the other half of the human race.
If you’re looking for a book that applies wisdom to the human condition, you will, I am sure, find some useful, even very helpful, chapters in Secrets.
It is tempting, when reviewing a book like this, to critique its underlying philosophy and spiritual beliefs (and I will, later, reflect on this from a Christian perspective), but I’m going to steer this review in a different direction.
Imagine you’re in a cinema, the lights are dimming, and the introductory music for a film is starting. You might adjust how you’re sitting, check your drink and food, offer your Maltesers to your friends, and sit back, beginning to relax. Around you, you are aware of flashing lights from phones being switched off, the noise of a crisp packet, a few words, even the silence. After a few minutes, however, the world around you begins to fade. Eventually, you are so captivated by the film that it appears to be the only reality. You have moved from being an external observer to a participant in its drama. You are fully engaged, absorbed, and reacting mentally and emotionally with the characters and the tensions in the plot.
This, to some extent, was my transition reading Secrets.
At the start, I took notes as a cool academic critic. Later, as various chapters and thoughts matched my experience, I relaxed and moved from analysis to absorbing parts useful to me; the sections that ‘spoke’ to me.
De Angelis employs some positive-thinking aphorisms that made me warm to her message, for example:
‘Obstacles won’t dissolve until they teach you what they came to teach you’
‘To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest’
Even Shakespeare – that great observer of human behaviour - gets a mention:
‘We are trampled most often by forces we ourselves create’
De Angelis constructs ‘Secrets’ around ‘Ten principles for total spiritual and emotional fulfilment’ and whilst my inner British-ness baulks at the more flamboyant and typically American ‘Total’ claim, her ten principles form a tight structure upon which she hangs her arguments and wisdom.
(A passing note – I’d love to know if the author deliberately chose Ten to go up against Moses!)
A summary of the Ten Principles: 1. Everything You Need to Be Happy is Inside You 2. The Purpose of Life… 3. Change is Inevitable 4. Obstacles are Lessons in Disguise 5. Make Your Mind Your Friend 6. Fear Will Steal 7. Love Yourself 8. Relationships are Mirrors 9. True Freedom 10. Love is The Answer
Personally, I found chapter 5 very helpful, but not so much chapter 7, though I could see the point she was trying to make.
So, to the Christian critique.
If you’ve spent time in church, you will recognise that all, bar one, of the chapters could be used (or may well have been used!) as sermon titles or alluded to within sermons. Who doesn’t agree that Fear has a way of eroding our confidence and stealing joy?
In short, De Angelis brings much excellent psychological sense, in a very accessible format using great illustrations and life experience (such as the blown tyre incident) to Secrets, but her premise, as outlined in Chapter One, does not sit easily with the Christian perspective regarding the relationship God has with man, and man with God. Her neo-New Age belief in the interchangeability of terms such as God-The Universe-Force, and her emphasis on self-fulfilment left me wondering what she would make of the New Testament, and, specifically, what Jesus tells us about God and His recipe for human happiness.
If being challenged about the human condition, the psyche, or soul, which is undoubtedly her area of expertise, is what you are looking for, I can thoroughly recommend Secrets as a thought-provoking and well-written offering.
But if it’s pneuma (spirit) – a spiritual foundation for life you’re after - the New Testament would be my first recommendation.