Not just a walk

Gills and a gaping jaw
Caught in a fishing line
The creature’s freedoms
Consigned to memory

Impaired, struggling to rise
Oxygen-depleted blood
Baptised in despair,
Will, sapped to the core

Suspended between
The depths and the sun
Turning and twisting
On an axis it didn’t choose

And so it was as I trudged
Up Sidcot’s shaded gullies
To the nettle-bound radio mast,
Distractions, undoing and

Dulling the beauty of the
Horizon-wide, sun-soaked
Somerset Levels and St
James’s spire seeking heaven

Half a flock of sheep
For company in the shade
Looking on helpless to
Unthread the tangled line

Later, within a hymn
In a deluge of Spirit
My heart sings songs
Of untethered joy

Now I remember
The moss-covered walls
The poor arthritic ewe
A golden field of barley

And the soothing crunch of
Of gravel underfoot
On the final leg
Home

Shortcuts? There Are No Shortcuts

I wonder if our mental attitudes for getting from A to B alter as we progress from infants to teens and on to adulthood…and then to older-adulthood?

In the pre-SatNav, pre-smart-phone era of my teens, I was the navigator for my mother behind the wheel in our second-hand Fords, traversing the width of England and Wales from Kent and back home on various family holidays.

In my hand, I usually had an American WWII Gazetteer – my dad having been a Colonel in the US Army. It was a superb road map with all the A & B roads and white tracks accurately drawn.

The M2 was avoidable, the M4 hadn’t been opened fully, and the M25 was but a dream (nightmare?) so all but a few roads had remained unchanged.

I became adept at finding the shortest route, even if that meant the exhaust dragging dangerously on the ridge of grass occupying the middle of a minor road. Shortcutting had become a life skill.

Except that, in life, there are no shortcuts. From the Jews traipsing around the desert until a generation of faith and obedience took over from the shortcutters, to most (all?) men ignoring IKEA instructions, or athletes resorting to taking illegal substances to rescue a fading career…we all know the foolishness of taking shortcuts and acknowledge the wisdom of the less glamorous side of life: patience, planning, attention to detail, the slog, adopting a ‘marathon not a sprint’ attitude to life.

I’ve yet to meet many writers who rub their hands with glee when it comes to submitting work for line editing with all the amendments and corrections that ensue, or various steps (e.g. ISBN numbering) before publication…and that ghastly word ‘marketing’…I apologise for even mentioning it. I can feel collective ACW spines shuddering away.

So, here I am, sitting in yet another North Somerset café, sipping a decent flat-white, bemoaning a lack of cooked cheesecakes, with a laptop and time on my hands to WRITE…not slog through line edits, ideas for book covers, or steps towards publication or marketing.

But the passage of time has taught me to be more patient and submit, meekly, to the process.

I’m astounded by the work of line editors (shout out to Liz Carter) who, essentially, have the skill to make our best efforts look as if we’ve studied English Language to degree level – Respect!

I look back to my younger self – always trying to get from A to B by the shortest route in the quickest time – and can still see the joy in it, but I can also see the bodged kitchen units, the lack of revision before exams, the avoidance of emotional intelligence at times, and the fruit of taking shortcuts. Disaster.

No, bring on the horrors of all the writing process, from inspiration and ideas, from ISBN numbers to inventing marketing strategies. I’m ready.

Originally: Shortcuts? There Are No Shortcuts

Outsourced Love?

At each dawn chorus
Lewis Gwyn Knowle’s will stirred
Stiffening muscles and sinews
Grimacing against the strain
Of his unstilled bones.
Lewis, expressionless
Stood under a steaming shower
Devoid of thought
By sheer habit,
To wash the night away

It is always thus: cleansing
The pure emerge, brighter,
Hair and eyes sparkling
And if not so,
Then steady at least
Ready for the day’s toil
Whilst the memories
Of but a day ago are rinsed
Away to another world
Outsourced so we can be clean

In this green and pleasant land
Rid now of satanic mills and
Plumes of foul-smelling smog
A land of coal mines in cold storage
En route to carbon zero,
Environmental eyes sparkle
And if not, conscience quelled,
Guilt is outsourced
To another world
So we can be clean

And if we behave so
Does not God but wilder?
That Will forged in eternity past

That heavenly corporation
A nuclear fire of spirit
Outsourcing the spotless Son
Sluiced somewhere
Outside a city wall
Beyond the satanic mills
Of synagogue and temple
Like some blackened commando
Baptized in our grime
So we can be clean

So, Lewis Gwyn Knowle,
I wonder if imprinted
In some recess of mind
Whether you, imago dei
Whatever satanic foulness
Clings to you, hear a voice
Commanding your eyes
To look upon your clean
Transfigured self,
Made of the sunrise?

Book Review: Secrets about Life Every Woman Should Know by Barbara De Angelis

‘I heard a loud sound like an explosion and my car began to careen wildly out of control. One of my tyres had blown…I just froze and thought ‘this is how I am going to die’, then the strangest thing happened…’

 Yes, I hear you loud and clear! Why, Mr Stevens, are you reading a neo-New-Age self-help book for women?

The answer is simple; I borrowed it from a friend who thought I might find it interesting and who made the point that although its primary audience is women, many of the principles also apply to the other half of the human race.

If you’re looking for a book that applies wisdom to the human condition, you will, I am sure, find some useful, even very helpful, chapters in Secrets.

It is tempting, when reviewing a book like this, to critique its underlying philosophy and spiritual beliefs (and I will, later, reflect on this from a Christian perspective), but I’m going to steer this review in a different direction.

Imagine you’re in a cinema, the lights are dimming, and the introductory music for a film is starting. You might adjust how you’re sitting, check your drink and food, offer your Maltesers to your friends, and sit back, beginning to relax. Around you, you are aware of flashing lights from phones being switched off, the noise of a crisp packet, a few words, even the silence. After a few minutes, however, the world around you begins to fade. Eventually, you are so captivated by the film that it appears to be the only reality. You have moved from being an external observer to a participant in its drama. You are fully engaged, absorbed, and reacting mentally and emotionally with the characters and the tensions in the plot.

This, to some extent, was my transition reading Secrets.

At the start, I took notes as a cool academic critic. Later, as various chapters and thoughts matched my experience, I relaxed and moved from analysis to absorbing parts useful to me; the sections that ‘spoke’ to me.

De Angelis employs some positive-thinking aphorisms that made me warm to her message, for example:

‘Obstacles won’t dissolve until they teach you what they came to teach you’

‘To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest’

Even Shakespeare – that great observer of human behaviour - gets a mention:

‘We are trampled most often by forces we ourselves create’

De Angelis constructs ‘Secrets’ around ‘Ten principles for total spiritual and emotional fulfilment’ and whilst my inner British-ness baulks at the more flamboyant and typically American ‘Total’ claim, her ten principles form a tight structure upon which she hangs her arguments and wisdom.

(A passing note – I’d love to know if the author deliberately chose Ten to go up against Moses!)

A summary of the Ten Principles:  1. Everything You Need to Be Happy is Inside You   2. The Purpose of Life…  3. Change is Inevitable   4. Obstacles are Lessons in Disguise   5. Make Your Mind Your Friend   6. Fear Will Steal   7. Love Yourself   8. Relationships are Mirrors   9. True Freedom   10. Love is The Answer

Personally, I found chapter 5 very helpful, but not so much chapter 7, though I could see the point she was trying to make.

So, to the Christian critique.

If you’ve spent time in church, you will recognise that all, bar one, of the chapters could be used (or may well have been used!) as sermon titles or alluded to within sermons. Who doesn’t agree that Fear has a way of eroding our confidence and stealing joy?

In short, De Angelis brings much excellent psychological sense, in a very accessible format using great illustrations and life experience (such as the blown tyre incident) to Secrets, but her premise, as outlined in Chapter One, does not sit easily with the Christian perspective regarding the relationship God has with man, and man with God. Her neo-New Age belief in the interchangeability of terms such as God-The Universe-Force, and her emphasis on self-fulfilment left me wondering what she would make of the New Testament, and, specifically, what Jesus tells us about God and His recipe for human happiness.

If being challenged about the human condition, the psyche, or soul, which is undoubtedly her area of expertise, is what you are looking for, I can thoroughly recommend Secrets as a thought-provoking and well-written offering.

But if it’s pneuma (spirit) – a spiritual foundation for life you’re after - the New Testament would be my first recommendation.

If you stumbled

If you stumbled over a diamond
What would you do?

I’d try not to jump up and down
I’d hide it in a shoe

A shoe! I’d sell it, be rich
Uncork the Champagne!

Oh! No! I’d rather keep it
And gaze on its light

Could I see it, my friend?

Only if you bend down
From such a great height

That I could not do
It’s beneath me to kneel

Such a shame, my friend
To the humbled, it’s revealed

Echoes of II Corinthians 4 v6-10

Faith spelt differently

It is a mistake to think of Jesus as a religious version of Superman, powered up differently, maybe, but powered up nonetheless.

The miracles, healings, and deliverances all seem to be works of power as if the Son of God, was powerful in himself, operating with spiritual power, not Kryptonite.

Jesus did have a source of power, the Holy Spirit, which he promised to the disciples:

‘You shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you’ Acts 1v84

The problem is not that this is untrue, but that Jesus modelled a life of deliberate vulnerability to his disciples like a good apprentice, for them to copy.

Three chapters in Luke’s gospel: 8,9, and 10 illustrate the point.

In chapter 8, Luke describes the ministry of Jesus. In chapter nine, Jesus sends out the twelve disciples in like manner to do what they’ve seen him do, and in chapter 10, this is extended to seventy.

The verses below may be familiar, and been struck by the outcomes – often miraculous - of Jesus’s ministry and the disciples. Quite rightly. Miracles are hard to ignore. The gospel writers did not omit them!

Miracles are hard to ignore. The gospel writers did not omit them!

But we’re taking a peek behind the scenes.

In one memorable phrase, Jesus described his lifestyle after returning in the power of the Spirit from the temptations, ‘The Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head’ Luke 8 v 58. After early success preaching the gospel in Galilee, he was rejected in Nazareth and relocated to Capernaum,

‘Leaving Nazareth, He came to dwell in Capernaum’ Mt4v13

Moving house is stressful at the best of times, but Jesus’s departure was forced upon him by the congregation of his home synagogue, who had become so angry that they turned on him and tried to push him off a cliff!

And, after the initial welcome and success in Capernaum (e.g. the paralytic lowered through the roof), he rounds angrily on Capernaum, ‘Woe to you…Capernaum’ Mt11v23 and has to leave once again, as at Nazareth.

Jesus had become an outcast

The disciples had witnessed the power of the miracles, of course, and the preaching, but also the stripping away of all the traditional forms of support: a roof over one’s head, family, who thought he was ‘out of his mind’ Mk3v21, and synagogue. He had become an outcast.

‘Now it came to pass, afterward, that Jesus went through every city and village, preaching and bringing the good news of the kingdom of God and the twelve were with him and certain women who had been healed…and Joanna the wife of Chuza, Herod’s steward, and Susannah and many others who provided for him from their substance’ 8v1-3

No income – he folded his carpentry business.

No home – he had to leave his house in Capernaum.

No guaranteed supply of food, clothing, or shelter.

Open only to the welcome of others, like a sparrow finding a place to call home (Ps 84v3) amongst all the competing needs of other sparrows and wildlife.

In chapters 9 and 10, Jesus extends this twin walk of power and vulnerability to the twelve and then the seventy,

‘Then He called His twelve disciples together and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases and sent them to preach the gospel and heal the sick…’Take nothing for your journey, neither staff nor bag nor bread nor money’ Luke 9 v1-6

‘After these things the Lord appointed seventy others and sent them two by two…carry neither money bag, rucksack, nor sandals, and greet no one on the road but whatever house you enter first say ‘Peace to this house’…’ Luke 10 v 1-12

They were instructed to stay, preach the gospel, and heal the sick, if welcomed, but if not, to wipe the dust off their feet and move on

In Philippians, Paul writes that Jesus, though equal with God, made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a servant, he came in the likeness of men…he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

For the apostles and the seventy - and by extension, us, - whatever status we may carry, we may also find ourselves called to walk the path of deliberate vulnerability, not using any status to build the road in front of us, however legitimate that manipulative approach may be.

Paul speaks about this as an apostle:

‘If we have sown spiritual things for you, should we not reap materially? Others do, nevertheless, we have not used this right, but endure all things lest we hinder the gospel’ 1Cor 9 v 11f

Like Jesus and the disciples, Paul was open to and dependent on the welcome and gifts of others.

We are not the rich ones with something to give. We are voluntarily poor with only the welcome of others and the power of the Spirit as our source. We are likely to suffer rejection as much as a welcome, and be like Jesus, be a ‘man of sorrows and acquainted with grief’ one moment and ‘anointed with gladness above his fellows’ the next.

The emotional impact of a life of deliberate vulnerability is recorded in the gospels. Not only is Jesus not invincible, unlike Superman, he is not serene, as if one step removed from this world, living in a Zen state of perpetual calm. His lifestyle took its inevitable toll.

1. At the synagogue in Capernaum, when he healed the man with a withered hand, the people were offended because he performed the miracle on the Sabbath. Mark recorded ‘He looked around them with anger, being grieved at their hardness of heart’.

2. Though his emotional response to his family thinking he had gone mad ‘out of his mind’ Mark 3v21 is not recorded, it is not beyond reason to imagine the sadness He must have felt, even if tempered by his faith

3. Jesus rejoiced in the Spirit, Luke 10 v21. Again, we have no details, but it’s hard not to imagine smiles, laughter, singing, and dancing.

4. Jesus weeps over Jerusalem and Lazarus

5. In the garden before his arrest, ‘He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed, ‘My soul is exceedingly sorrowful even to death’ Mt 26v37,38

6. After the resurrection, just as when he sent the disciples out, He appears and says, ‘Peace to you’. Just as before. Vulnerable, open to being welcomed, or not. We take it for granted that the disciples greeted Him because we know how the story ends, ‘while they still did not believe for joy’

The kingdom of God is not about food or drink, the best worship band, the most generous offerings, a large staff, or staging successful conferences. It turns out to be a willingness to be vulnerable and open to the welcome or rejection of those we meet, whilst having faith in the power of the Holy Spirit. Anything else follows on.

Deliberate vulnerability and faith in the power of the Spirit? It was the Lord who called the twelve and the seventy, it will be the Lord who calls us to a particular path. There is no manual.

Some work this out through everyday existence in the world, others go on a mission, or tread the Camino, or are called to ministry.

Paul again,

‘Gladly I will boast in my infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong…that the power of Christ may rest upon me’ 2Cor12v9,10

Hangover…don’t shout

My head doesn’t belong
It’s an object
On top of me
Full of low-level pain

Somewhere underneath
Like a child behind a sofa
I’m in the room
But not fully

Up before dawn
Sleep is the language
Of a foreign land
Parts of me are dormant

Black coffee
With brown sugar…
…I can’t see colours
My eyes are closed

Speech is on hold
Thought is slowed
In my subterranean self
All is calm

1 Corinthians 12-14 The Love Sandwich

These three chapters elicit little curiosity from nominal Christians who think Christianity can be summed up as kindness to neighbours, dismay from Evangelicals who believe in the inspiration of Scripture but apparently not the inspiration of believers themselves, and child-like delight amongst Charismatic Christians who can be like children unwrapping gifts at Christmas.

And then there’s Paul’s statement about women keeping silent in church, which needs to be faced.

And the middle chapter, Love.

Paul is one for building arguments with a strong foundation or premise, and he does this in the opening verses of chapter 12.

‘You were Gentiles carried away to dumb idols, however you were led, but I make known to you that no one speaking by the Spirit of God calls Jesus accursed and no one can say that Jesus is Lord except by the Holy Spirit’

Previous to their conversion from paganism, the Corinthian believers were used to ‘being led’ by a spirit and ‘carried away’ by such spiritual experiences. They have since abandoned their idolatry to believe in God through Christ and received the Holy Spirit.

Instead of any previous spiritual manifestations, Paul is reminding them that their heartfelt revelation and confession of Christ can only have come about via the Holy Spirit revealing the truth concerning Jesus.

That’s the foundation: that true believers are inhabited by the Holy Spirit.

He has stated this in earlier chapters of the letter, picturing the church as the temple of the Holy Spirit and, indeed, every believer’s body as a temple for the Holy Spirit.

The question then arises: how does the Holy Spirit manifest His presence in the church and in individual believers? Paul goes on to describe gifts and ministries that should be present in the church and the life of individual believers:

‘There are diversities of gifts but the same Spirit and differences of ministries but the same Lord’

The gifts of the Holy Spirit are then listed: word of wisdom, word of knowledge, faith, gifts of healings, miracles, prophecy, tongues, and interpretation of tongues. And it is clear from 1 Cor 14 v 26 that Paul expects to see these gifts manifesting in the church when it gathers together.

‘Whenever you come together each of you has a psalm, a teaching, a revelation, an interpretation…let two or three prophets speak…’

In my childhood, I was taken to the local Anglican church. The congregation consisted of ‘nominal Christians’ who, if they had any true faith, it was considered the Christian faith to be an entirely private matter. From my admittedly limited viewpoint, they were there ‘because it was Sunday’ rather than due to any deep convictions. The Creed was recited, but was it believed? I doubt it. Consequently, there was no evidence of the presence of the Holy Spirit in terms of the manifestation of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Two miles from the Anglican church stood an Evangelical church that preached that when the canon of New Testament was completed and the apostles had died, the ‘perfect had come’. As a consequence, the gifts of the Spirit were for the early immature church, but now that we have the Scriptures, there’s no need for childish gifts such as speaking in tongues and prophecy.

‘We know in part and prophesy in part, but when the perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away with. When I was a child, I spoke as a child…but when I became a man, I put away childish things’

This argument and its corollary – opposition to the baptism of the Spirit after conversion – effectively put up a No Entry sign to the gifts of the Spirit. Consequently, there were no manifestations of the gifts in their church services and gatherings.

A further two miles from the Evangelical was a Baptist church.

The pastor and elders had all experienced the baptism of the Spirit many years after their conversions to Christ, some during Billy Graham’s crusades in their youth. Along with thousands of other believers in all denominations, having been baptised in the Spirit, the plurality of gifts and ministries of the Spirit began to manifest in individual believers and during church services.

Paul, in writing 1 Corinthians has had to tackle various issues within the church of immorality, division and party spirit, and ‘free for all’ chaotic worship services, in which believers were manifesting the gifts e.g. speaking in tongues and prophecy but, as with their inability to wait for others before eating, were all speaking in tongues and/or prophesying at once.

Paul’s analysis of their practice around the Lord’s supper and the chaotic use of the gifts was a lack of spiritual maturity and love.

He had already been blunt:

‘Brothers, I could not speak to you as spiritual but as fleshly, as to babes in Christ. I fed you with milk and not with solid food…and even now you are not able to receive solid food. You are still fleshly…there are divisions among you’ 3v1-3

Paul’s recipe for correction was not to stamp out the gifts any more than a parent would permanently remove toys from a child, but to keep directing the child to enjoy the gift at the right time…and tidy away! Moving beyond the analogy of children and gifts is the instruction to use the gifts not for yourself but to build others up, to build up the church:

‘You are zealous for spiritual gifts but let it be for the edification of the church…desire earnestly to prophesy and do not forbid speaking in tongues but let all things be done decently and in order’ 14v12,39,40

These three chapters are a Love Sandwich. Chapter 12 sits at the heart. It is often quoted at wedding services and is a beautiful description of the love we all need and all need to express to others.

So…next time you feel your heart thumping because the Holy Spirit has revealed something to you to share in the form, for example, of a prophetic picture or a prophecy of words or a song, it will be because the Holy Spirit is about to bless someone else – or your whole church. It is an awesome thing, really. Whilst it may be exciting, thrilling even, for you to initially receive the gift, the gift is actually only in your hands temporarily, it is to be passed on.

Like throwing a bouquet at a wedding, someone will catch it!

Occasionally, you may know who to address a gift to e.g. a word of knowledge, but in the context of a church service, it is less likely. Throw the bouquet!

Lastly, if this has not been within the orbit of your church experience, ask the Lord to reveal the truth of what the scriptures say and how to handle any revelations that come with love in your congregation.

______________________________________

PS ‘Let women keep silent in the churches, they are not permitted to speak but are to be submissive’ 14v34

Whatever your interpretation of this verse, please bear in mind that Paul has already stated in chapter 11 ‘…every woman who prays or prophesies…’ therefore, the verse in chapter 14 cannot mean a blanket ban on women speaking in church!

The best conclusion I can draw is to consider the context: Paul is attempting to bring order to chaos. It looks as if their gatherings were chaotic. If there was food, the Lord’s supper was being dishonoured as one group would eat before another. And spiritual gifts were being manifested with little attempt to ensure that everyone could hear and benefit. It had become a free for all. Within that context, maybe the women in the church had grown so frustrated that they’d grouped together and were using the time to talk to each other. Whatever the truth is, it is clear that Paul is not banning women from exercising gifts or ministries such as prayer or prophesying.

No prison walls

Sat there
On a cold grey
Flagstone floor
Alive, silent, safe
Insulated from…
A retreat of sorts

A cell, yet not
An anchorite’s
Barred domain
But reduced to
A seed state,
Waiting then

From outside
A softening aria
Breaches the
Solid defensive wall
Broken open by
Just a few notes

The seed
Beyond control
Discarding
Husk and flesh
Growing like a river
Towards the song

Stands up
Green and unsure
To open the door
To what lies beyond
There are
No prison walls

Patriarchy, 1Cor11, and head coverings

One of the significant cultural misadventures of our time has been to equate patriarchy with misogyny – the rule of men - with cruelty.

1Cor11 is a passage that appears to counter the anti-patriarchal thinking of our day, only to veer off into the rather odd context of head covering in worship and long hair, short hair, or no hair.

Can we extract anything useful from 1Cor 11, or is it best left undisturbed, like an untilled field, left fallow for a future age that can shed light on these strange verses?

Like any argument, there is little point debating the latter points until you’ve understood the fundamental starting point, the premise, of the argument. Paul constructs 1Cor11 exactly like an argument; there is a premise from which all his points about hair and head coverings follow.

The premise:

‘But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of any woman is man, and the head of Christ is God’ v 3

Have we relinquished the truth of this verse in the name of equality? Or in reaction and horror of misogyny: male dominance, cruelty, rape and all manner of abuse?

From Jane Eyre’s declaration ‘I am an independent woman!’ to Emily Pankhurst and the suffragettes, equal voting rights, the need to keep up pressure for equal pay for women, and ironically, the present-day fight by feminists to sharpen up the definition of a ‘woman’ so that female spaces (e.g. in sport) cannot be infiltrated by those born biologically male yet self-identify as women, the idea of patriarchy (submission to male rule) seems outdated and downright dangerous!

One of the offshoots of this cultural rebalancing has been, however, to undermine our confidence in the scriptures as the authoritative word of God. Have we, however, thrown the baby out with the bath water?

Let’s tackle ‘headship’ in verse 3 in reverse and ask whether ‘headship’ can be equated with oppressive rule.

‘…the head of Christ is God…’

If we explore the relationship between Christ and God in the gospels and other New Testament epistles, we see complete submission yet not a sniff of oppression.

‘Truly I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, only what He sees His Father do; for whatever He does, the Son does in likewise manner’ John 5v19

‘Let this attitude be in you that was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God did not consider it robbery to be equal to God but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a servant, and coming in the likeness of man…and humbled Himself becoming obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross’ Philip 2v5-8

Here we see equality and yet voluntary submission. Christ as equal to God, nevertheless submitted to the Father, ‘taking the form of a servant’.

When the disciples ask Jesus about prayer, He answered by saying ‘Our Father’…and then ‘thy kingdom come, thy will be done’ so that they would enjoy the same relationship with God as He was showing them.

Investigating further, we might be troubled by the contradiction between Jesus’s relationship with His Father in heaven and our notions of freedom as pursued via the rise of the autonomous self or the cult of the individual, so:

‘For the Father loves the Son and shows Him all things that He does…for as the Father has life in Himself, so He has granted the Son to have life in Himself, and has given Him authority to execute judgement…’ John 5 v 20, 26,27

I am trying to find words to express the ‘scent’ of this relationship. There is a sweetness in it. A flow of love. Are we so fearful of losing control, of submission, of dethroning our supposed autonomy and individuality that we have lost the paradoxical nature of submission towards someone who loves us? In exalting the autonomous self, have we not impoverished ourselves of and lost freedom and peace? And authority. The paradoxes seem to pile up one on top of the other: submission resulting in freedom; submission resulting in authority; submission far from diminishing life turning out to be the source of life.

At the heart of the headship of God with Christ is love. The opposite of oppression.

The carry over to a man and Christ is the second crucial hinge upon which this argument swings.

‘The head of every man is Christ’

It is worth being reminded that Paul’s opening statement: ‘…I want you to know…’. Is critical to his argument. The truth concerning the headship of Christ over a man is not learnt naturally. To ‘know’ is far more than an intellectual revelation similar to, say, knowing what subtraction means and being able to do it. This is a deep spiritual truth that goes to the core of who we are as men, it requires spiritual revelation in our hearts not just our minds.

The core of this relationship between the man and Christ is love. Christ has loved me, loves me. Me! I may think I don’t deserve it, don’t nurture it, often neglect it…but the truth is He loves me. With the same outcomes for me as it was for Him: freedom, peace, authority and much else. As I submit to His rule over me, His rule of love, I end up doing what I see Him doing, saying what I hear Him saying, having His peace, His life, His authority.

Lastly, women.

‘The head of any woman is man’

But that head, the man, can only function well, if his head is Christ Himself, the woman is on the receiving end of all the benefits accrued by the man due to his relationship with Christ, and Christ, God. So the woman has love, peace, and freedom, and authority. Paul goes on to speak of women praying and prophesying…almost a dual carriageway to and from God. Speaking to God in prayer, and hearing from God resulting in prophecy.

There are faint memories of how deep this revelation ran in our society. In a crisis, e.g. the Titanic, it is the woman and children that are saved in preference to the men. A man gives up his seat for a woman on a train. Or holds the door open for a woman. These cultural traditions run deep and can, of course, become symbols of male dominance rather than acts of sacrificial love…but it is the latter that is intended.

Let’s tackle the head covering and hair aspects of this passage.

‘Every man praying or prophesying with His head covered dishonours his head and every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonours her head ’ v 4,5

Culturally, this is why it is almost instinctive still, for men to remove their caps or hats in church. But we must not be diverted from what we have learnt about Paul’s reference to headship. He is not talking about the brainbox on our shoulders, he is referring to the previous verse.

If a man prays with his head (Christ) covered i.e. putting a barrier somehow between Christ and God, he dishonours his head (i.e. Christ). No, when we pray as men, we need to recognise that our head (Christ) is equal to God and loved by Him. Whether or not putting on or removing hats, caps, or deciding on hair length accompanying or illustrating the spiritual truth Paul is trying to establish at Corinth in v3 is, perhaps, up to each individual.

It is so easy to throw out the baby with the bath water

The last point is important. The premise for Paul’s argument is, undoubtedly, verse 3, however verse 11 – which may appear to be contradictory or more in line with current cultural norms – is the measure of verse 3.

‘Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman of man, in the Lord. For as woman came from man, even so man also comes from woman; but all things are from God’

The cultural misadventure has been to confuse patriarchy with misogyny and patriarchy with inequality.

Christ is submissive to God and yet equal. The woman takes a man to be her head if Christ is his head. This is what Paul means by the apparently throwaway clause in v11 ‘in the Lord’. It is worth reminding ourselves to whom Paul is writing: Christian believers in Corinth. This is not applicable to those not in Christ…even if it might benefit wider society, who see it working.

Verse 11 certainly underlines our commonality and equality; we are not independent of each other across the gender divide, nor are we unequal. Nevertheless, neither of these important markers of human dignity, equality and gender identity, are undermined by submission as above.

This form of patriarchy, as modelled by Christ and God, is what we might call biblical patriarchy worked out through fathers, husbands, and elders. It is the opposite of misogyny, and fathers, husbands, and elders submitted to Christ and God’s love, detecting any such abuse from others would seek to correct it.

It is so easy to throw out the baby with the bath water. In an attempt to ensure that dreadful abuse is uprooted and prevented from recurring, it is no surprise that we might overreact.

What must not be ejected though, is the love of the truth and the bible states that ‘Your word is truth’ in reference to scripture.

Finally, I submit this to you as an honest reflection on these verses. I know I haven’t written a sequential commentary on each verse, or visited the Greek, and that further study is always required, but I hope that my small essay is thought-provoking, but not provocative for the sake of being provocative!

If you’ve read this from my website, you’ll have detected a long time ago that I carry XY chromosomes. I’m a bloke. And I know that I have been granted two ears and one mouth for a reason, so I’m very aware that as a man, I’m not ‘independent of woman’, and need to listen twice as hard as speaking.

Two of My Favourite Things…but I’m not happy!

In front of me are a few items that have made it to my desk: a baseball, a rubber egg, a pile of old car tax discs, a Union Jack, three small champagne candles, a small clay pipe, and a photo of my daughters.

All these things carry associations that represent their true value to me, like Oscars for Oscar-winning performances. This post, however, concerns two of my favourite things at loggerheads with each other. One is threatening to evict the other, whilst the other claims to hold the moral high ground, heels firmly dug in.

I’m talking about (i) a log burner, and (ii) jackdaws.

I can’t remember when my love of jackdaws settled in my thoughts. Maybe a long-forgotten story from childhood, but through all the years in Kent, Exeter, then Bristol, I rarely, if ever, saw a jackdaw. Having recently moved to lovely Winscombe, I can’t say I’m tripping over jackdaws, but I do see some every day. And it makes me ridiculously happy.

Alongside jackdaws in the corvid family also lie crows and rooks. Fascinating as these clever birds are, it is the jackdaw that has lodged itself deeply in my affections.

The problem is that they are equally deeply lodged in the chimney; a nest of noisy Jackdaw chicks keeping their parents busy. Am I happy about this?

The truth is I’m torn.

My lounge has now become the dumping ground for large coils of elephant trunk-like chimney lining and a log-burner that can’t be installed pending the fledgling of all the young jacks…which could take over a month from now.

My other favourite thing is, of course, the log burner; a multifuel burner which has in-built ‘diversification’ wisdom…in case gas becomes hyper-expensive. I can incinerate just about anything and stave off hypothermia, but that’s not why it’s on my favourite’s list. I find that, even amongst avid environmentalists such as I, we all relish a ‘proper fire’. Who gathers round a pilot light in a boiler to watch the paltry flame? No one. We all like the combination of flickering flames, direct heat, crackling of burning wood, pulling the handle to open the grate, and feeding the flames with fresh wood.

So, I will have to just sit it out. The Jackdaws have legal protection and are staging a noisy sit-in. and the log-burner will have to learn the art of patience.

As will I.

Illusions of a Quiet Life

Not disappearing into a
3D-painted-non-hole
So convincing

Things not as they seem

A river, graceful and inviting
Tips over its end
And falls somersaulting

Lost in a desert
Fooled by a shimmering
Oasis, a mirage only

One day follows another, but
Not for God’s sleeping agent
Licensed to heal

The call, tearing a hole
In the liminal
Living from the other side

On earth as it is in heaven
There’s a noise
Some say it thundered

Dad-daughter 10K challenge 2024-2025…Post X11 May 11th 2025 Final Post: Bristol 10K

The day has finally arrived. The Bristol 10K start was 8.30 a.m. and Rachel, in London, ran an equivalent 10K around Hackney’s Victoria Park at 10.45.

The culmination of our dual efforts to prepare for a 10K in 2025.

All along, the aim was to be a provocation to each other. Maybe a better word, though too mushy, is an ‘encouragement’, especially in the darker and colder wintry months.

Yes, I will report our separate times innabit, but there’s more to running than the Sports watch strapped to your wrist, or, in my case, Strava on mobile, stuffed in pocket.

The Bristol 10K is like a mass gathering of eagles or vultures (take your pick) diving on their prey. More than ten thousand descend on the city centre, streaming from all points of the compass, with running numbers and Zone colours safety pinned to running vests and t-shirts.

Not sure why, but I was placed in the faster Orange Zone, so spent the whole 10K being overtaken by faster runners rather than overtaking. You’ll hear many telling the same story that ‘adrenaline on the day sees you round’ or ‘the atmosphere is so great, you get carried along by the cheering crowds’; I don’t want to douse these descriptions in cold water, but when you’re struggling to keep going after 7K (like me) cheering crowds such thoughts, I found, are pushed to the rear of one’s consciousness!

The weather has been stupefyingly wonderful throughout April and May. Wall to wall sunshine. But that meant, even by 8.30, it was rather warm. Too warm perhaps…but even warmer in Hackney when Daut 3 set off.

Stats

Dad: 59.50

Rachel: 57.08

So, hats off to Rachel! And to her the bragging rights belong!

However, I’m rather chuffed. My three aims (i) run without stopping (ii) under my age (iii) under 60’ if possible.

If you’re thinking I waited under the finishing gantry to just shave the 60’ mark…nope. Anyone watching would have seen a different story etched on my sweaty brow.

My ‘no beer, no bread’ fast is over. A cold Guinness was had upon reaching home

My ‘no beer, no bread’ fast is over. A cold Guinness was had upon reaching home.

Cheers, everybody! I’ve enjoyed seeing how widely spread these bog-posts have been read, and I hope you’ve been entertained and, just maybe, they’ve pushed you to find those old trainers and give a Parkrun a go, or a local 10K…or further.

The final word, though, I will give to Eric Liddell, the athlete who starred in the 1981 film Chariots of Fire – I can only very faintly add my Amens:

‘I believe God made me for a purpose, but He also made me fast! And when I run I feel His pleasure’

MG – The End

My 1997 MG. Sold. 8.20 a.m.
Resplendent in racing green
Apart from the peeling lacquer
And the electrical faults
And the worn tyres. Selling
Took more from me than I
Knew I had

It is not the carburettor
Or the mid-engine warmth
Or its throaty roar
Nor is it the lack of suspension
Or inability to take on fuel
Except at dribble-pace
After all is said and done

It was a chariot of the gods
A carrier of persons
Of a bride, of long friends
Of Sir Gaffa to Calais
It is like us
A material courier
Of immaterial riches

Of inestimable worth
And so the ache
I unexpectedly felt
Is as real as the wind
As truly solid
And impervious
As a sigh

My bank balance of joy
Felt diminished, and yet
In its depletion
There is no emptying
No, our losses leave us
As intact as the equator
Joined to all who lose

“Out! Out! Out!” Anti-Hamas Protests in Gaza bring some hope.

It is 8am on Thursday morning. I have just returned from a morning walk across fields and footpaths. It was full of beauty and charm, but surprisingly cold, and I’m downing a cup of tea to warm up and have two jumpers on.

During the walk, I listened to Saturday’s edition of BBC Radio 4’s From Our Own Correspondent. The main report was from Gaza and Israel, and it gave me a glimmer of hope that this ghastly and grisly conflict might be drawing to a close.

The report was classic BBC. It told a fundamental truth wrapped up in an editorial attempt to be unbiased. It failed, and thankfully so, because the comparisons between Israel and Gaza proved to be compelling rather than the similarities.

The premise for the programme was to compare and contrast the protests in Israel with those in Gaza. In Israel, mainly in Tel Aviv, street protests against Netanyahu’s military strategy call upon the government to do everything to return the 59 hostages remaining in Gaza. In Gaza, there are now also anti-Hamas protests, demanding Hamas to relinquish their grip on power, shouting “Out! Out! Out!” referring to Hamas not the Israeli Defence Force (IDF) Hamas' iron grip on Gaza is slowly slipping as residents protest - Hamas' iron grip on Gaza is slowly slipping as residents protest - BBC News

The comparison between the protests in Israel and Gaza, however, highlights the truth, that Hamas is a cruel and heartless organisation that is not only responsible for the despicable atrocity on Oct 7th, 2023 murdering unarmed Israeli civilians in a kibbutz and at the Nova music festival, but intimidating its own population, suppressing dissent through imprisonment, torture, and murder. Israel, by contrast, is a democracy and dissent and public protest carries no threat of false imprisonment, torture, or elimination.

Gazan’s, once too afraid to speak against Hamas, are now doing so, so desperate are they to end the suffering brought on their heads by Hamas’s attack and subsequent declaration of intent to repeat such attacks, continuing rocket fire into Israel, resisting the IDF, refusal to return the hostages, and, ultimately, their refusal to lay down their weapons, surrender, and leave.

But now, Gazan’s are rising against Hamas, I might have grown cold on my walk, not having taken a jumper, but my heart and blood, chilled by events in Gaza and Israel, has begun to thaw.

Hamas, as I have written before, should hang their heads in shame and leave Gaza

Hamas, as I have written before, should hang their heads in shame and leave Gaza. Whether or not one believes in the Palestinian cause, their actions on Oct 7th and since then disqualify them from holding power. They must go. And all the hostages must be returned. Iran, which has funded and backed Hamas, is primarily responsible for rebuilding Gaza, but its poisonous anti-Israeli policies preclude it from any political process in Gaza after the war.

The lie undermining the Palestinian cause is that the only way to achieve justice is to oppose Israel, politically and militarily. The bible, however, teaches a different course altogether…and one that takes enormous faith.

To Abraham, God said:

‘I will make you a great nation…I will bless you…and you shall be a blessing, I will bless those who bless you and curse him who curses you’ Genesis 12v1-3

Is Israel perfect? No. Is it a hostile neighbour? Yes, some groups within Israel are like Nabal, Abigail’s husband, a scoundrel, evil and wicked (1Sam 25) and who view the Palestinians as impediments, obstacles in their way to recreate an Israel that mirrors the shouts of pro-Palestinian marchers ‘From the River to the Sea’.

Nevertheless, the word of God slices through all these objections and places a challenge at the door of Palestinians, Tehran, Damascus, London, and Washington: ‘Will you bless Israel or curse Israel?’

In conclusion, my heart was warmed. Some hope again circulating in my body and mind that the present conflict will end. Hamas has to go. But what will replace them? And what spirit will inhabit them? What attitude will they have towards Israel?

On that hinges the future of Palestinian prosperity and Palestinian-Israeli relations for the next generation.

Do they want God’s blessing or Tehran’s?

Romans 12 and the autonomous self

I don’t know how many times I’ve read Paul’s letter to the Romans, but the slightly worn and discoloured edges of its pages in my bible give the game away. And yet I can’t say it’s my ‘favourite’ New Testament book. If pressed, I’d opt for 2 Corinthians, but that’s a subject for another day.

This morning, after I’d slogged round a 10K run, showered, recovered with a cuppa and a bowl of cereal, I sat down at my desk to read Romans chapter 12 – I’ve been reading through the New Testament more or less a chapter a day, and R12 happens to be the next one up.

Morning routine

So I read its familiar verses. And then saw something I hadn’t before. That’s what this short sketch will attempt to explore.

Paul’s route to writing Romans 12 is strangely different from the route the average Westerner in 21st Century has taken before reading Romans 12.

The aim of this post is a little like the spider in the bath. Can we climb out of our own cultural/philosophical bath to have a peek over the rim into Paul’s world…and thereby ‘see’ Romans 12 from a new perspective?

If we accept for the moment that what we perceive as the Universe came about many billions of years ago as a result of the Big Bang, we can equally propose that our Western culture has arisen from a Big Bang of Greek philosophical thinking, upgraded in the Enlightenment via its apostles such as Descartes (1596 – 1650) and Locke (1632 – 1704), and their philosophical offspring or disciples Voltaire (1694 – 1778), and Immanuel Kant (1724 – 1804).

Just as we occupy the space-time continuum after-glow of the Big Bang, so we are we living in the after-glow of the Enlightenment Big Bang…despite the efforts of post-modern deconstruction.

Central tenets of the Enlightenment include Rationalism, Empiricism, the Autonomous self, self-respect, and self-love. Famous quotes may help bridge the gap between these vague assertions and the reality of our daily lives and influences upon our thinking.

Descartes – ‘I think therefore I am’

Locke – ‘Every man has a property in his own person. This, nobody has a right to but himself’

Voltaire – ‘The pursuit of pleasure must be the goal of every rational person’

Kant – ‘Enlightenment is man's leaving his self-caused immaturity. Immaturity is the incapacity to use one's intelligence without the guidance of another. Such immaturity is self-caused if it is not caused by lack of intelligence, but by lack of determination and courage to use one's intelligence without being guided by another. Sapere Aude! Have the courage to use your own intelligence! is therefore the motto of the enlightenment’

From this era came the French Revolution (‘Liberté, égalité, fraternité ) and the War of Independence resulting in the creation of the United States whose tagline in the Declaration of Independence: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness’. The difference between the France that emerged from the Revolution was largely atheistic but tolerant of Catholic and Protestant Christianity, America was a Christian nation but tolerant towards other faiths and none. Nevertheless, all Western nations have been moulded by the creeds proposed in the Enlightenment, its light falling full square on individual liberty and individual autonomy.

‘No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main…any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind’

We are fooling ourselves if we believe we have arrived in 2025 without the past three or four centuries of philosophical thought influencing what we take for granted. Or worse, we think this generation has not been derived from the past.

St Paul, in the First Century, knew nothing about Rationalism or Empiricism, and the ideas of an independent self were as alien to him as they are to the most basic biblical world-views.

For Paul, the existence of an independent self is an illusion, and to pursue such an aim is to court trouble in the form of anxiety, anguish, and mental health as we end up fighting against our true nature…which is not to be independent. John Donne, the poet and priest, was a critic of the Enlightenment’s more extreme exponents: ‘No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main…any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind.’

If Donne could see that we are involved in mankind, St Paul goes further and asks a more searching question; a question that makes no sense to us, so imbued are we with rational thought and the cult of the individual. The question St Paul asks is ‘Who are you in?’

And Paul is not alone. Jesus also.

It takes some mental re-engineering to even understand what being ‘in’ someone means. If we want to be generous towards the Enlightenment, we can certainly say it represented an improvement over the forms of authority that had become authoritarian by nature. Concepts such as the divine right of kings, absolute monarchy, papacy, aristocracy, and superstition were overturned and replaced by empirical data and observation as the basis of knowledge, and the exaltation of faith in reason over faith in God.

‘I am in the Father, and the Father in Me’ John 14v11

‘I am the vine and you are the branches. He who abides in Me and I in him, bears much fruit’ John 15v5

‘I do not pray for these alone, but also for those that will believe in Me through their word…that they may be one just as We are one: I in them and You in Me’ John 17v20f

‘It is because of God that you are in Christ Jesus…’ 1 Cor 1v30

‘As in Adam all die, so in Christ all are made alive’ 1 Cor 15v22

‘…our fathers were…all baptised into Moses in the cloud and he sea’ 1 Cor 10v1,2

‘…baptised into Christ Jesus…’ Rom 6v3

The human body is made up of trillions upon trillions of individual cells, each of whom are entirely unique, having their own function and contribution to the body. Imagine interviewing one cell and asking, ‘Are you alive?’ The answer would be a definite ‘Yes’. Ask, Whose life are you alive with?’, and despite their unique individual contribution to the body, the true answer is the name of the person in whom they live. So all the cells in my body are alive, not with their own life but with mine. And my life is a composite of all the life in each of my cells. Every cell in me is in John Stevens and John Stevens is in every cell.

So, when we say we are ‘in Christ’ it means that we are (a) not living an independent life (b) our life is the life of Christ (c) we are living in a community with others (d) therefore we share and participate in the history of the person in whom we are ‘in’.

This explains why Paul can say ‘I was crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me, the life I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me’ Gal 2v20

To Romans 12.

This morning the familiar words of Romans 12 were as they had always been, but it struck me with fresh force that this chapter is both autobiographical and entirely as a result of the transformation that occurred in and through Paul by being placed in Christ.

True doctrine cannot be separated from the person in whom the source of the doctrine has taken root i.e. Christ himself.

Listen to the drama in Paul’s words:

‘Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse’ v 14

I can only imagine the emotion Paul experienced as he felt compelled by the Spirit of Christ to write those words; apostolic words from the great persecutor of the church. And maybe, when the risen Jesus confronted Saul of Tarsus on the road to Damascus and said ‘you are kicking against the goads’ the goads that pierced Paul over and over again were the verbal or material blessings he received from those Christians he cruelly dragged off to prison or worse, were killed at his command.

‘If your enemy is hungry feed him, if he is thirsty give him a drink for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head’ v 20

This was Paul’s experience in his pre-Christian days as the persecutor and his experience as a persecuted apostle of Christ, sharing in His sufferings.

‘Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good’ v 21

If one verse sums up Paul’s autobiography it is this.

To use the current vogue, Romans 12 is Paul’s ‘lived experience’ rather than a cobbled-together list of theoretical statements.

The point, though, of Romans 12 is that all believers, Jews or Gentiles, are in their own after-glow from the Big Bang of conversion to Christ, or, as the bible puts it, being placed ‘in Christ’.

To conclude, there is no autonomous self. It’s an illusion. We are either ‘in Adam’ and still hooked up to the liar in the long grass, saturated in an Enlightenment deception, and trying to achieve something that will wear us ragged, or, through the love of God in Christ, we can be reconnected with God, who places us in Christ, and begin to live His life, as characterised by Paul’s revolutionary statements in Romans 12.

Book Review: Joe Marler – Loose Head Confessions of an (Un)professional rugby player, Joe Marler Penguin – 2020

‘One day a coach said about my mood swings, ‘Joe you have the capacity to do good or evil.’ Hi jinks and positivity one moment – making teammates laugh, raising the energy in the room…then crash…miserable as sin, sniping and lashing out. But it wasn’t the old red mist. It was more like black mist. Gloom, despondency. I had no idea where it had come from.’

The Guardian Review comment ‘Very Funny’ printed on the front cover, is, of course, the truth, but not the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Not by a long chalk.

Joe Marler – Loose Head is an autobiography of a great Lions and England and beloved Quins rugby player up until 2020. If he writes a follow-up dealing with the 2020-2025 years before his retirement from Quins, put me down on the wait-list.

I should declare some self-interest. I’m a Quins fan…but have arrived to that calling very late in the day. That story for another day.

I was – and this is slightly embarrassing - loose head prop for Simon Langton Boys’ School 1975/1976 and played appalling poor rugby in the backs for Canterbury Vths and VIths the following year. I was 5’9” and 10st10lbs. An immense threat to…no-one. My short rugby career came to a shuddering halt during trials for Exeter University when I made the terrible mistake of running with the ball…I became the ball…the air squeezed out of my lungs caught between opposition forwards and my lot, all twice my size and strength. I lasted about 10 minutes and left knowing what I should have known all along…I should have been scrum-half…or stuck with golf, or chess.

OK, so, to the book.

Joe Marler has lit up the rugby scene with his outrageous haircuts, cheeky persona on the pitch, and terrible red-mist moments. He has played in one of the most bruising positions in world sport at the highest level representing England in the 2019 World Cup Final and momentous victories with the Lions.

But the absolute joy of this book is its courageous and often, very funny, honesty. It’s not been plain sailing for Joe Marler, the hard man, often bawling his eyes out as he deals with Joe Marler the human being.

Joe Marler – Loose Head takes you behind the scenes into the locker room, dubious initiation ceremonies, alcohol-induced craziness, sharing rooms and lives on tour, naked wrestling with Johnny May, his relationship with Eddy Jones, desperate depression, occasional violence, a marriage to Daisy that very nearly imploded, recovery, and advocate for CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably).

Along the way, your swear word lexicon will be given a work-out and I wouldn’t be surprised if you find the tears falling, but you will also laugh out loud - more than weep, and – Oh Dear! – you will reminisce about your own changing room past, Ralgex spray, the smell of the soil of the pitch, the crunch of battle, and all things rugby - and start searching for your long unused and mould-infused rugby boots.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Joe Marler – Loose Head. Instead of reading, It felt as if the man himself was talking to you, a natural flowing style, but that didn’t diminish the book’s punch, but enabled Marler to articulate all the above – as Joe Marler not as a ***** biographer who knows ******** about rugby, not to quote him, but you get the drift.

Final comment: there is a great collection of b&w photos in the middle of the book that spans Marler’s life from under 5s to 2020.

A must read.

Dad-daughter 10K challenge 2024-2025… Post X1 May 4th 7 days until Bristol 10K 11th May 2025

Today my mind is elsewhere. Daughter 2, not Rachel, is getting married and I need to be in the right place at the right time later this morning, all suited and booted.

Nevertheless, with a week to go until the Bristol 10K, I can file perhaps my final Dad-daughter post until the post-10K report next Sunday.

I have no Rachel data to share, but did meet up with her and the rest of the family involved in the rehearsal yesterday and can report that she looks far more athletic than I.

‘Perception is reality’ is one of those phrases that out there that the unthinking nodding masses who delight in traversing life without stopping to ponder…Oh Dear! Grumpy old man speech underway, beware. Of course, there is some truth in such a statement; ‘mind games’ in sport is big business even if wrapped up in more professional speak as ‘Sports Psychology’.

On a very amateur level, we all know how true this is. Even the bible says in a note of reality ‘as a man thinks so he is’.

For me, the last week is a case in point. Whether I have been hiding a distracting set of emotions in the build-up to daut 2’s wedding or not, I don’t know, but what I do know is that I haven’t managed to complete a mid-week run, pulling up from a 10K after 6K and after 4K in a 5K run.

And yesterday, after halfway round the Parkrun, my mind and body were presenting every good reason under the sun why I should stop and slope off home.

Fortunately another voice prevailed which went something like ‘In a week, you’ll be running a 10K…you can’t cave in after a measly 2.5K…get a move on’. Maybe it was Mr Tutt, my old sergeant-major school PE teacher, back from the dead, but it worked…I did make it to the end.

Perception is reality - is it?

I was sure it was an embarrassingly slow time considering I have the 10K next week…but to my delight it was better than feared at 28:26….AND I’d like you to know, I was 1st in my age category! There were 6 of us stumbling round old enough to know better.

So…is perception reality? I thought I’d run out of gas. I also thought I was running slower than 30’ for 5K.

All one can really conclude, is that I’m loosing my grip on reality…but then a proud dad about to give away his daughter is surely entitled to some inner-entropy!

The Stones Cry Out

It’s early May
Apples are the size
Of a small toenail
And Beer beach
In the baking hot sun
Beckons the unwary
Into its bone-cold water

Beer Beach

Three boys, liberated
From their school desks
Two on a paddle board
Just out of reach from
The pebble-launching third
Summer heat making sense
Of male madness

Older ladies,
Impervious to the cold
Slipping in and out of the
Incoming tide
Perhaps unlike mermaids
And yet…
Perception is so deceiving

We’re butterflies on an oak
Raindrops on a hotplate
Temporary distillations
Imprinted on priestly stones
Hearing our confessions
Seemingly unmoved
Their tears fall as autumn rain

Can Opener

Like other domestica:
Ink-filled pens
Sharpeners, staplers,
And can openers
You can travel for years
Before you meet The One

Then, in a moment,
The metal lid yields
A smooth easy incision
And what was beneath
Is open to the blue sky

A blade, disguised
As a music chord
A Monet, a mime, a
Dancer’s move,
A line in a love song
And I’m sliced open
Spilling the light
You’ve been packing
Inside

Little did I know, I am
A suitcase for the Almighty
On His travels

Until he finds you