A Meditation on ‘Speaking the truth in love’ Ephesians 4v15

This is one of those verses in the New Testament that seems to attract a lot of comment…and humour. Humour, of course, because we all know when ‘speaking the truth in love’ misfires and is off kilter, when the truth is not spoken in love at all…but with barely concealed rage, or as a justification for gossip.

And then there’s a relatively recent distant relation to this verse as trotted out by embittered campaigners: ‘speaking truth to power’. Various supposed heroes of this variation are enlisted to bolster its image: Martin Luther King, Ghandi, and Nelson Mandela. But too often speaking the truth to power is accompanied with an undertone of aggression entirely absent from St Paul’s much-quoted phrase, either in its original context, or as a stand-alone aphorism.

Can we peer behind the jokes or the falsifications to find the true meaning of the original phrase?

First, love. Love includes a genuine desire for the good of the other, that they might prosper and grow and be enriched in life in all ways. Into that context, truth can be spoken. Genuine concern for the state of the other, what they are seeking, searching for, longing for, their hopes and dreams and fears; into that truth may be spoken.

However, if that love-motor is not running smoothly, it may not be sensible to assume any truth can be received; we need to be wise about what to say and what not to say…and when. The embittered campaigners above I was referring to, in their frustration and tears, long since abandoned any concern for the personal impact of their critical remarks, sledging, or banter. Their only concern is the success of their campaign and imposing their values on their opponents. How easy it is to fall into this trap.

Secondly, truth. Jesus spoke hard truths to the Pharisees: ‘You hypocrites’; ‘Blind leaders of the blind’; ‘Whitewashed tombs’ and so on…but he did not abandon his love for them. His heart was not hardened but soft, even if his words were sharp. It was, after all, to Nicodemus, who came to him at night, that Jesus shared his teaching on the need to be born again by the Spirit.

Love is a two-way street

Love is a two-way street. How much easier it is to receive ‘truth’ when we know the other person is speaking out of concern for us and not from some disguised form of self-protection, self-promotion, or self-interest. Jesus epitomises all that can be said about love, allowing his opponents to arrest, disfigure, and crucify him. Even on the cross, two indications of how much love was still in his heart were his cry, ‘Father forgive them, they know not what they do!’ and his request to John, his closest friend, who had abandoned him, to take care of his mother, Mary. No bitterness, only love. God will always raise up such.

The original context of the phrase in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, ‘speaking the truth in love’ is about our journey to maturity, ‘that we may grow up in all things into Him who is the head – Christ.’

This verse is directed at believers. At disciples. Are our L-Plates ever removed as disciples? Five decades have passed since I found Christ or he found me. Mine are still attached. More so than ever, I am aware that I have barely begun to decode the depths of that four-letter word L.O.V.E.